Anxious eating

I would definitely say I live to eat. I love food, and cooking. So much so that I have worked as a chef in the past and my first cook book, Lunch Box Salads, was published last week. Here’s me (on the right) and my friend Anna I wrote it with celebrating over a gigantic Vagabond pizza in Box Park. It was my first vegan pizza experience (Anna is vegan). Verdict: yummy and felt healthier with all the vegetables but I did miss melted cheese 🙂

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Whilst I have always seen it as a positive thing to live to eat, as I do think food is a great pleasure in life, I have noticed that I also eat when I am anxious and tend to over think about food if I am anxious as a distraction (and reach for a chocolate bar usually, sometimes a full size one). On this trip home the uncertainty of knowing my Mum is very upset with me for moving to Australia definitely pulled me down a spiral of anxious over eating which I am trying to combat now by:

  • Eating in a structured way: at least 3 proper sized meals and 2 snacks per day and not being too restrictive or over thinking it.
  • Trying to eat slowly and pause between mouthfuls.
  • Sitting with any anxious thoughts that come up and knowing they will pass e.g. the sadness I have over not feeling at home in my family home right now. Giving myself a break if I slip up as this is a hard situation.
  • Drinking less. Although it immediately relaxes me I know the next day I feel worse and need to remember that. I always want to just fit in socially and don’t always listen to my inner voice.
  • Always having fruit/nuts on hand to snack on and water.

I know for me part of it comes from a sense of self consciousness as I eat from anxiety and then I beat myself up and think I will put on weight. I don’t think I am naturally a self conscious, vain person so I want to let go of this small mentality too:

  • Eat well so my body is healthy and vibrant and able to contribute more.
  • Feel grateful for my body as it is today. I’m strong and fit.
  • Let go of self consciousness – everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives they are not looking at you. Smile at yourself for thinking they are.
  • If your not thinking about food you have more head space to focus on more important things in your life.
  • Smile at myself in the mirror and be kind to how I look right now.
  • Know I am enough, today, as I am, right now

 

Just had a yummy bowl of bircher muesli with lots of fruit. Looking forward to lunch already ha but nottttt going to obsess about it.

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