I’ve realised that I am always very aware of people around me and very sensitive to their emotions. It’s nice as I find I am very able to relate to people without really trying too, but it is also quite exhausting when you are around lots of people and I find that emotions can rub off on me and I can get self conscious easily.
Last night I had a lovely, relaxed dinner and stayed the night with my best friend and her parents who I have known for my whole life and live on a farm down the road. They are so relaxed in each others company and in themselves. There is no rush to get dinner ready, no plan for the evening and no awkwardness when there are natural pauses in the conversation.
Being in my home, where my parents constantly bicker, if you are late for dinner you get yelled at and my mum is always worrying about something in the future, there isn’t usually a great sense of ease. I can see how it directly creates a sense of anxiety in myself and I start to shallow breathe. Usually I try and soothe any tensions with chit chat and small talk.
Just being aware of my hyper sensitivity to emotions like this, which perhaps stem from growing up in said home environment with lots of dominant characters, helps me not get so caught in it and almost step back and witness any feelings of anxiety. I am then in a better position to try to relax in myself and my body regardless of what is going on around me.
Overall, I think if I build on being more present with my emotional sensitivity, it can be a positive personality attribute which will help me be more receptive and approachable in life. The key will be having that awareness of my emotions so I can use them positively rather than let them control me.