I have realised that I have been living in fast forward a bit recently. Becoming a bit obsessed with getting up, going to the gym, being busy, my to do list, re writing my to do list. I suddenly realised that I’ve had a sore throat for a few weeks and felt pretty ill so yesterday I made myself come home from work and sit and do nothing.
Today I took the day off, and made myself relax, watch TV, not go to the gym, not to over eat to fill the discomfort and uncertainty of doing nothing and just being at home with my thoughts.
I binge watched Pretty Little Lies (so great!) and Wonder Women. Saw myself getting distracted by my phone, tinder, whatsapp, grasping for peanut butter, (which I gave into twice).
It’s now 5.30 and I am feeling a bit more relaxed and at home in myself without the distractions of busyness, but it’s hard. Being aware of my grasping mind and meeting it with amusement rather than annoyance or self criticism is what seems to help.
I think I’ll go into work tomorrow but try and not go to the gym and let myself rest (and not add a layer of guilt over that). I’m going to try and work without constantly checking Facebook and my phone as a distraction too. Lets see how I go!